The Great Australian Adventure: More Than Just Sunsets and Swags
The allure of the “Big Lap” – a grand tour of Australia in a caravan – is potent. For many, it represents an escape from the daily grind, a chance to swap spreadsheets for scorching sunsets and office chairs for campfire stools. Simone Skinner-Smith found herself captivated by this dream, particularly during those quiet, pre-dawn hours when social media feeds offer glimpses into seemingly idyllic family adventures. It wasn’t a retirement plan; it was a siren call for immediate escapism, a desire to imbue life with an abundance of adventure before the “grey nomad” years even loomed.
Driven by this yearning, Simone and her husband made a bold decision. They packed up their lives, rented out their home, resigned from their jobs, and enrolled their two children in a year-long adventure, trading school desks for the open road. The plan was set: a caravan, a family, and the entirety of Australia as their playground.
However, the reality of life on the road, particularly within the confines of a caravan, proved to be a stark contrast to the polished perfection often portrayed online. With no prior caravanning experience, the family quickly discovered that #vanlife, while glamorous in theory, presented a steep learning curve. The romanticised image dissolved rapidly, replaced by the less-than-glamorous challenges of being utterly unprepared.
There were moments, more than they care to recall, where they found themselves stranded in remote locations, facing the unnerving prospect of running out of essential resources like petrol, water, and even power for the caravan. The temptation to cut their losses and head back to the familiar comforts of Sydney was a recurring one, a whisper of surrender in the face of unexpected adversity.
Yet, they persevered. And in doing so, they unearthed a treasure trove of invaluable life skills. The simple act of always carrying a spare jerry can of petrol became a testament to their newfound resourcefulness. What began as a struggle for survival gradually transformed into a journey of thriving. Their days became a tapestry woven with extraordinary experiences: swimming alongside majestic whale sharks, honing their skills with spear fishing for mud crabs, embarking on camel rides across desert landscapes, feeding formidable crocodiles, floating serenely down natural hot springs, conquering towering waterfalls, and even trying their luck noodling for opals. Each day was an opportunity to live their best life, a constant stream of unforgettable moments.
This extensive expedition across Australia, while undeniably the dustiest adventure they could have embarked upon as a family, proved to be an experience that Simone will forever hold dear. Upon their return to Sydney, the urge to share their newfound passion was overwhelming. She found herself enthusiastically encouraging anyone who would listen to undertake their own “Big Lap.”
The Unspoken Question: Intimacy on the Road
However, the most frequent question Simone received wasn’t about her favourite outback pub or the best campsite for stargazing. Instead, it was a far more intimate and surprisingly common query, often whispered in private messages or posed discreetly at the school pick-up line: “So, like, how did you guys have sex in the caravan with kids sleeping next to you?”
This wasn’t an isolated curiosity. It became apparent that the logistics of maintaining intimacy while travelling in a caravan with children is a topic that sparks considerable discussion, particularly within online caravanning communities. Simone herself admits to being an avid reader of these discussions, finding endless amusement in the creative and often hilarious solutions shared by fellow travellers navigating this peculiar dilemma.
The responses range from the ingenious to the downright audacious:
- The Outdoor Escape: “We bought a swag so we could sneak outside at night and get the job done under the stars.” This method prioritises privacy and a touch of romanticism, albeit with the elements.
- The Neighbourhood Watch: “If you’re in a caravan park, just give the kids a few bucks to go spend, lock the caravan door and go for it. If you do a good job you might even get a round of applause from your neighbours.” This approach relies on a well-timed distraction and a healthy dose of audacity.
- The Ensuite Advantage: “We book a caravan site with an ensuite.” A practical solution that offers dedicated private space, albeit at a premium.
- The Parental Decree: “We just tell our teenagers to go to sleep, otherwise we will rock them to sleep!” A firm, albeit humorous, assertion of parental authority.
- The Curtain of Silence: “We put the kids to bed and then, after a few minutes, we ask, ‘Does anyone want any chocolate?’ If there is no answer, we slide the ‘curtain of silence’ across and get to business.” This involves a subtle coded message and a swift manoeuvre.
- The Rooftop Rendezvous: “We get up on the roof of the van. If the kids wake up, we tell ‘em we are fighting monsters outside and not to come out.” This strategy combines a high vantage point with a fantastical distraction.
- The Tax Break Diversion: “Me and the wife tell the kids to go out and entertain themselves for five minutes so we can do our taxes. Then we just chill out for the remaining four minutes.” A clever ruse that leverages a mundane task for a brief window of opportunity.
These anecdotes highlight the universal human need for connection and the lengths to which people will go to maintain it, even in the most unconventional of circumstances. Simone Skinner-Smith’s journey, documented in her book Passenger Princess, offers a candid and humorous look at the realities of family caravanning, proving that the biggest adventures often come with the most unexpected, and sometimes hilarious, challenges.
Simone Skinner-Smith is a seasoned television producer and writer with over twenty-five years of experience in the Australian media landscape. Her career has spanned various popular dating reality shows, and she holds a Bachelor of Arts in Communications. As a writer, her travel features have appeared in publications like the Sydney Morning Herald, and her short stories have been featured in anthologies. Simone currently resides in Sydney with her family, including her husband, two children, and a menagerie of pets. Her passion for travel remains strong, and she is already contemplating their next grand adventure, though perhaps with a slightly different mode of transport in mind.
