The Generation Gap in Estate Planning
America’s adult children are eager to take control of their future inheritance, but many of their parents are hesitant to discuss the topic. A report from Fidelity Investments highlights a growing divide in estate planning between older generations and their children. While younger adults are ready to manage their wealth, many aging parents are reluctant to have these conversations, often due to discomfort or a lack of confidence in their children’s financial abilities.
The retirement industry is currently focused on the “Great Wealth Transfer,” a projected $84 trillion that will pass from older Americans to their heirs by 2045. However, this transition is not happening as smoothly as expected. Many wealthy elders are avoiding discussions about their assets and inheritance plans with their adult children, sometimes out of fear or simply because they believe the time isn’t right.
“There’s an uncomfortableness about talking about money and death,” said Cody Molacek, a certified financial planner at Northwestern Mutual’s Freedom Wealth Advisors. “You’re waiting for the perfect moment to have that talk, and it just never arrives.”
According to Fidelity’s 2025 Family and Finance Study, which focused on families with at least $500,000 in investable assets, nearly every American believes it is important for families to talk about estate planning. Yet, these conversations are still rare. Two-thirds of parents have not told their adult children about their inheritance, nor have they shared how much they stand to inherit. Half of parents haven’t even discussed their net worth with their children.
Despite this, more than half of adult children say they want to know how much they will inherit. In fact, 95% of adult children claim they are ready to manage their inheritance, while only one-quarter of parents agree.
Why Parents Are Hesitant
Experts suggest that this reluctance may stem from generational habits. Many parents grew up during the Great Depression, where keeping finances private was common. This mindset can carry over into their own parenting, leading them to believe that sharing wealth is unnecessary or even risky.
Ryan Viktorin, vice president and financial consultant at Fidelity, explained, “Their parents went through the Great Depression. So, what’s in their bones is, you keep it close to your chest. You don’t share what you have.”
Parents also worry that their children may not be financially responsible. According to the Fidelity report, two-fifths of parents lack confidence in their children’s ability to manage debt, and a similar number doubt their ability to stick to a budget. Some parents believe that their children should learn personal finance on their own before taking on the responsibility of managing an inheritance.
“They want their kids, they want their grandkids to kind of carve their own path, face adversity in life, learn good money management,” Molacek said.
Generational Differences in Attitudes Toward Inheritance
Retirement research also shows a clear generational divide in attitudes toward inheritance. In Northwestern Mutual’s 2025 Planning & Progress Study, 74% of millennials believed it was very important to leave something for the next generation, while only 47% of boomers agreed.
A 2024 survey by Charles Schwab found similar differences. While 53% of millennials supported the idea of passing wealth to their heirs while they were still alive, only 21% of boomers shared this view.
This contrast highlights a shift in values between generations. Younger Americans are more open to sharing wealth during their lifetimes, while older generations tend to prefer leaving everything to their heirs after they pass away.
The Importance of Open Communication
While many parents avoid these difficult conversations, experts warn that failing to discuss estate plans can create problems for heirs. Without clear communication, family members may struggle to identify assets and debts, and may not understand the parent’s intentions.
Zaneilia Harris, a certified financial planner in Washington, D.C., emphasized the importance of having these talks. “I think it’s important for the parents to sit down and at least give them an overview of their estate plan. Just make them aware.”
Sharing an estate plan doesn’t require revealing every detail. Instead, it can be an opportunity to explain the types of assets and investments a parent has, why they were chosen, and what they hope the heirs will do with them. It’s also a chance to share personal values and goals.
“It doesn’t have to be a one-and-done conversation,” Harris said. “And probably, as your parents age, you would want to have it annually.”
Preparing for the Conversation
Before having these discussions, parents should take time to organize their finances. This includes reviewing accounts, updating legal documents, and ensuring all information is in order.
Harris also recommends involving a financial adviser in the conversation. “Consider inviting them to join in a cross-generational talk about your estate,” she said. “They can serve as a neutral arbiter. They can also make sure the session doesn’t turn into a negotiation about who gets what and when.”
“Set up a conversation in a way that feels comfortable,” Harris added. “It’s always good to have an independent third party.”
