The relentless tide of negative news, often featuring men as central figures in stories of violence and chaos, is taking a significant toll. For many women, this deluge is compounded by an imbalanced domestic load at home, where they often shoulder the majority of household chores and childcare responsibilities on top of full-time careers. This pervasive feeling of burnout and frustration is leading to a growing sentiment of anger, much of which is directed towards men.
A Growing Disillusionment
Conversations among friends increasingly reflect this sentiment. One friend, feeling overwhelmed by the constant stream of negative stories and the disproportionate domestic burden, lamented, “I just keep asking myself, ‘What’s the value of men?’” Another, seeking an escape from what she terms “toxic masculinity,” declared, “I’m going to live in an all-female commune. I just want to hang out with women, we can help one another and there will be none of this toxic masculinity sh*t to deal with.” While the practicalities of commune living might be daunting, the underlying desire for a space free from perceived male toxicity is palpable.
Social media algorithms often amplify these feelings, feeding users shocking facts and stories about men, leading to online discussions where women dissect these narratives. Content creators remixing and critiquing toxic masculinity further fuel this discourse, sometimes to the point where it intensifies the audience’s own rage. A common observation shared online is the perceived silence of many men regarding serious issues, such as the Epstein case, prompting questions about their engagement and accountability.
The Domestic Divide and Global Impact
The feeling that men are unaffected or indifferent to issues that deeply traumatise women is a recurring theme. When this is juxtaposed with the reality of women managing demanding careers and then returning home to an unequal share of domestic duties, it’s easy for resentment to fester. The frustration isn’t just about minor domestic oversights, like forgetting to book parent-teacher interviews, but a deeper sense that systemic issues are being ignored.
This sentiment has even permeated popular culture, with articles questioning whether having a boyfriend is now “embarrassing” going viral. This suggests that the disillusionment is not confined to a few individuals but is a widespread phenomenon across different age groups and backgrounds.
Expert Insights: A Shift in Emotional Focus
Dr. Jennifer Cox, an author and psychiatrist, confirms this trend. She observes a significant disengagement from men among her therapy clients. “I’m increasingly struck by just how many of my patients are moving their emotional focus away from men,” Dr. Cox explains. “From the time of Trump resuming office [in 2024], there seems to have arrived a generalised loss of male-focused libido in women, which plays out across their decisions and choices, and spans age and background. The precise shape this radical decentering of men takes appears to differ according to life stage, but I can’t ignore the pattern.”
Dr. Cox attributes this shift to a confluence of factors, including the widespread awareness of abuses of power, citing cases like Pelicot and Epstein. “And it’s clear that social media is contributing to this sense of mistrust and suspicion,” she adds. Simultaneously, men are also being targeted with harmful narratives that exploit their vulnerabilities, contributing to a cycle of hate and distrust. “Lost young men themselves are finding solace online among figures who in turn abuse their vulnerability,” she notes.
Rebuilding Inter-Gender Connections
A critical factor, according to Dr. Cox, is society’s failure to foster intimacy between genders beyond romantic and sexual relationships. “Our society has never encouraged us to build intimacy between genders based on something deeper than sex,” she states. This lack of deeper connection, she argues, is being exploited by algorithms that fuel gender conflict. “Women are suffering a group trauma, about which men are (ironically) feeling victimised. It’s a dangerous cycle. In order to unite against a rage-bait fracture, which benefits only toxic influencers and billionaires, we all need to work on our real-world inter-gender relationships.”
This calls for a conscious effort to reduce passive scrolling and increase genuine connection. Dr. Cox advocates for a return to basics, suggesting that the path to overcoming this divide lies in learning to be “just friends” first and foremost.
Moving Forward: Towards Trust and Understanding
This is not a quick fix, nor does it mean excusing unequal domestic responsibilities. However, it does involve actively curating our online consumption, seeking out positive male role models to present to younger generations, and engaging with news events in a more balanced way.
It also requires men to actively work towards building trust and connection, rather than immersing themselves in content that promotes anti-women sentiments. While certain public figures may be divisive, examples of positive masculinity do exist and deserve greater recognition and discussion.
Ultimately, the advice from experts like Dr. Cox points towards a need for increased genuine connection, rather than further isolation. Excessive scrolling often reinforces negative stereotypes and fears about certain groups of men. Perhaps, as comedian Will Ferrell humorously suggested, a temporary shift in global leadership might even offer a fresh perspective. His light-hearted remark about women taking over the world, acknowledging that men haven’t been “doing so good” at running things, resonated with many, highlighting a shared sentiment for change and a desire for a more equitable future.
