Jackie ‘O’ Henderson Lays Bare Personal Struggles in Candid Memoir
Radio legend Jackie ‘O’ Henderson, a familiar voice on Australian airwaves, has revealed the private battles she’s faced away from the microphone in her introspective memoir, The Whole Truth. The book offers an unvarnished look at her illustrious career, high-profile romances, and a significant, undisclosed struggle with substance abuse that spanned three years.
Henderson candidly details her journey of overcoming a dependence on prescription drugs, a secret she managed to maintain from the public for an extended period. She recounts the pivotal moment she decided to seek professional help, checking into the esteemed Betty Ford Clinic in Palm Springs for a comprehensive 28-day program. “I’ve voluntarily enrolled in a 12 step program to treat the substance, dependence, and drug addiction I’ve been able to keep secret for three long and painful years,” she wrote in her book, reflecting on the profound decision to confront her challenges head-on.
A Marriage Under the Microscope
Beyond her reflections on addiction, the radio personality shares deeply personal and often upsetting insights into her 15-year marriage to British photographer Lee Henderson, which concluded in 2018. The couple shares a daughter, Kitty.
Henderson admits that upon meeting Lee, she felt an immediate sense of intimidation, even resorting to fabricating her fluency in French to make a favourable impression. “He didn’t catch me out in that white lie but I look back now and realise what a mistake that was, to be anything other than myself from the beginning. Those kinds of things, even on a small scale, set you up on a shaky foundation,” she confessed. She acknowledges that she ought to have recognised the “tiny red flags” that emerged early in their relationship, but her desire to please Lee overshadowed her intuition.
Lee and Jackie Henderson were married for 15 years. Image: Getty.
She describes Lee as judgemental, citing instances where his critiques were delivered subtly but immediately. As an example, Henderson recounts her aspiration to purchase a white BMW, similar to one owned by supermodel Elle Macpherson. However, Lee allegedly threatened to leave her if she bought anything he deemed “tacky.” In response, Henderson acquiesced and purchased a car that met his approval.
Despite these difficulties, Henderson also acknowledges Lee’s supportive role in her career, commending his valuable advice and assistance with business decisions. She notes a period of “married bliss” for approximately six months following their wedding, describing them as “happy, aligned and equal.” However, this harmony was often short-lived, with their 15-year marriage marked by significant emotional highs and lows. Ultimately, the couple struggled to address fundamental issues within their relationship, leading Henderson to describe their dynamic as “We both got used to living with elephants in every room.”
The Shadow of Weight and Self-Esteem
A significant recurring theme in their marriage, as detailed by Henderson, was her weight and the way her husband commented on it. She reveals that after gaining weight following the birth of their daughter Kitty, intimacy in their marriage began to wane, and her self-esteem suffered considerably.
“My weight has always fluctuated a little. And whenever I added kilograms in my marriage, it was never tiptoed around, it was told,” she stated. She recalls instances where Lee would playfully, yet pointedly, comment on her body, leaving her questioning the sincerity of his jokes. “Sometimes he would wrap an arm around me and grab. ‘Look at that,’ he’d say as a joke, but I wondered if it really was. It was the worst possible hangup to target because weight had always been an issue for me.”
A particularly poignant memory involves Lee walking past her while she was changing in their walk-in wardrobe. “I caught him looking at me in the mirror with an expression of disdain or disgust. I’ll never forget that look,” she wrote, highlighting the profound impact his reaction had on her.
Echoes of the Past: Mother’s Influence on Body Image
Henderson’s struggles with her weight and self-perception weren’t solely a product of her marriage; they were deeply rooted in her upbringing. She explains that her mother, Julie, despite being one of her favourite people, placed a significant emphasis on appearance. “Mum is one of my favourite people in the world, but my looks were always important to her. I’ve almost never had a choice but to place this skewed value on my appearance because I’d get comments and praise when I looked good and when I didn’t get comments, I knew what it meant,” Henderson shared. This created a subconscious belief that her worth was tied to her physical appearance, leading to a feeling of being “loved more when I looked good.”
The influence began at a young age, with Henderson receiving beauty products as birthday gifts from the age of seven. She also recounts being placed on a strict fruit-only diet during her childhood. This early exposure to dieting and body scrutiny set a precedent that would follow her into adulthood. “I’ve always been on a diet, and when I wasn’t, I was binge-eating. Constantly making and then breaking a new rule about food,” she wrote, describing a cyclical pattern of restrictive eating and subsequent overindulgence.
Jackie O has had to overcome decades of diet culture. Image: Instagram/@jackieo_official.
These deeply ingrained habits manifested in extreme behaviours later in life. Prior to her wedding to Lee, Henderson undertook a severe weight-loss regimen for an underwear brand photoshoot. “I was so insecure and I quite literally starved myself for those photographs. I lost seven kilos in a matter of weeks, following a simple and strict regime [that could] probably count as self-abuse. I would exercise, have a glass of wine and cigarettes, and eat nothing,” she admitted. She expressed gratitude for her current, healthier relationship with her body, acknowledging the detrimental nature of her past actions, and recalled her radio co-host Kyle Sandilands’ comment that she looked like a “chicken carcass walking down the aisle.”
Henderson believes that the commentary from her mother in her formative years contributed to her tolerance of similar remarks within her marriage. “I think that’s why I accepted those kinds of comments from Lee, and ended up in another relationship that placed such high value on my appearance,” she reflected. She even recounted a disturbing instance where Lee suggested she undergo a full body scan to assess her body fat, a request she dutifully fulfilled, only to find she was not obese.
Kyle Sandilands, Jackie O and Lee Henderson stage Kyle & Jackie O’s Big Fat Gypsy Wedding in 2012. Image: Getty.
The Unravelling of a Marriage and the Path Forward
Reflecting on her divorce from Lee, Henderson views him as a capable father to Kitty, but acknowledges that their partnership was no longer viable. She highlights instances where Lee made derogatory comments about her in front of Kitty, a behaviour she attempted to address by questioning how he would react if their daughter’s partner treated her similarly. “He was an incredible father but we were no longer an incredible couple, and I couldn’t let her grow up thinking this was how a healthy relationship looks. It was too detrimental,” she stated.
The ultimate turning point arrived when Henderson realised she no longer felt a desire to return home to Lee’s presence. “I’d get home each day and I just did not want to walk into the energy I knew was waiting inside,” she recalled, identifying this as her definitive answer regarding the future of their marriage. The couple’s separation was a gradual process, designed to allow Kitty to adjust to the changes. Henderson notes that while moving on is one challenge, “Finding your new normal takes a lot longer.”
If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, please reach out to the Butterfly Foundation National Support Line and online service at 1800 ED HOPE (1800 33 4673) or email [email protected].
